Wow! I visited this blog after 2 years. It's amazing how timing and perspective change over time isn't it? Over winter we took foster-to-adopt classes which consisted of weeks of 8 hour long intense training where we hoped to foster and then adopt a child 3 years or younger. After a few snags, we decided to open just to children who were already freed. The problem with that is that this option has brought us to almost no opportunity. That's right! Usually most younger children go to fostering parents. The problem with that is that we were told about the risk of a few families who made false allegations of abuse on their children to which EVERY child would be taken out of the home. If that ever were to happen to us, the child it took us 10 years to have would be taken away. When it comes to ANY child in our home, I'm a mama bear! They WILL be protected by us! The second factor in decided only freed children was that in the case of false allegations, my husbands nursing license could be taken away. That's our sole means of income! There's no way I'd risk everything with no guarantees.
Over the years perspective has changed. As you can see from the former posts, the loss of our son was very real, very sad for us but also an opportunity to understand the loss any child or birth mother will experience. I grieved my son's loss. I wept in the wee hours of the night and there's not one day I don't think about him. I imagine that is what OUR birthmother will feel. Along with that perspective, we also have friends who've been through so much personally as birth families so we recognize the importance for a child to have that connection with their birth families in one way or another. Not only have studies proved that this is beneficial for the child but also the birth families. Our hope that the 2 years of new perspective have equipped us to understand all the lives that will be changed and hopefully one day will thrive together for the betterment of whomever God chooses to become a part of our family one day in His time!
I'm emotional and excited all in one. As I've said before, we've been waiting over 15 years to adopt. The financial shock has taken a while to move through but even that perspective has changed some. Much of the cost for us will go to the agency to help us with fingerprinting, home studies, the birth mother if she needs anything extra, lawyers fees and post placement. There are reasons behind much of the costs. While there are some agencies that may not be honest, most ARE. We're adopting domestically. When a family decides to adopt outside the country there are even more costs. For instance costs of the care of your child, passports, Dossiers, the extra paperwork. It gets pretty pricey! I used to think how could they do that to so many children needing homes! I now see that it's not so cut and dry. There are actually costs and much of the time agencies break even in order to help bring families together.
SO, with all that said, We're ADOPTING!!! YAY! Little Bear wants a brother AND a sister. Hahaha I highly doubt she understands the repercussions of what she has said. Hahaha I DO believe she's going to be a great big sister. She just loves children. I can see her being a mother goose. Oh how I can't wait to share her with the little boy or girl we'll be chosen to be family of. Who knows, maybe we'll have more extended family with his or her birth families. We have SO MUCH love to give. Adding more family would be such a blessing. We're just ready!
We've chosen an agency, are on a waiting list and now have stepped out in faith to trust that God will provide all the money it will take to adopt without going into debt. We are refusing to remortgage our home or take out loans. We want to leave a legacy for our children. So now we get creative. I already have some options ready. I'm giddy with excitement and look forward to sharing with you the journey of adding to our family.
Love and hugs!
